The key to easily break the habit of despair

Breaking the habit of being yourself
Breaking the habit of being yourself

Breaking the habit of being yourself is a challenge that many people face in their lives. We tend to fall into comfortable routines, whether it be taking the same route to work or dining at the same restaurants. However, some habits can hold us back and prevent us from living a fulfilled life.

In this blog, we’ll explore the impact of habits on our lives and how we can break the habits that no longer serve us.

The Impact of Habits:

Many of us create habits unconsciously, but they can have a significant impact on our lives. Habits can control us, dictating our actions and behaviors. Some habits, like staying indoors all day, can stem from a lack of self-confidence. However, we are the creators of our good and bad habits and have the power to change them.

Breaking the Habit:

Breaking a habit is not always easy, but it’s possible with persistence and patience. The key is to start small and make one change at a time. For example, if you eat too many sweets, gradually try replacing them with healthier options. If you’re addicted to watching television, try setting a limit on how much you watch each day.

Changing Habits for a Better Life:

By changing our habits, we can live a more fulfilling life. We can create habits that support our desired lifestyle, boost our confidence, and help us seize new opportunities.

Here’s an example: I used to take Spanish classes once a week in an adult education centre. During the break one day, the person sitting next to me took me aside and confided in me that she was worried about her granddaughter.

She doesn’t go out of her home. She stays in and watches television or reads a book all day long.

The worried grandmother whispered to me: “I want my granddaughter to go out, make friends and see what there is outside of her home. I want her to be confident enough to start enjoying life. After all, you’re only young once, right?” I silently nodded.

She continued, “I really want her to make something more out of her life. How can I help her to get out of her shell? This habit of staying in all the time has to change. I want the best for. Bless her.”

Here’s the thing. We are the creators of our habits.

We knowingly and consciously created some habits, yet we also had some created unknowingly and unconsciously. Either way, we created them or they were created for us. We created the habit of putting our feet up in front of the television after dinner or going for a drink every Saturday night with our friends.

We create our habits because we are naturally creatures of habit. As human beings, that’s what we do; create one habit after the next. Some habits we create directly from our beliefs, as in the granddaughter’s situation. She believes she is lacking in self-confidence, so she has formed the habit of staying indoors and avoiding people other than her family.

Since we are the creators of our habits, the good and the not-so-good, whether directly or not, we are able to change those that do not serve us well, and by changing them, we can live a better and more fulfilled life.

How can you change your habits?

Here’s what the grandmother did. Over the next few weeks since our initial conversation, the grandmother gently eased the unconfident granddaughter out with her to the shops, to the open space.

She used the excuse that she needed help carrying her shopping bags as her back was ‘up to its usual tricks’ as she put it. At lunchtime, instead of returning home, she would purposefully suggest eating at a fast food restaurant as there was more shopping to be done.

This way the grandmother gradually built her granddaughter’s self-confidence without her even knowing it. That way the barriers that were there did not offer too much resistance. After a month or so, I was very happy to learn that the granddaughter began to make a number of significant changes.

The 9-year-old child began to incorporate new things into her life. She joined the after-school chess club, gym club, netball club and ICT class. She has a circle of close BFFs (best friends forever).

And what’s even more encouraging was that joining these extra-curricular activities was her idea. Not her grandmother’s!

In time, the girl built on the confidence gained from these activities and took on larger and more challenging ones. She naturally integrated this increase in self-confidence with new enhancing habits. Her life made a 180-degree turnaround.


Breaking the habit of being yourself can be a challenge, but it’s possible with small steps and perseverance. By changing our habits, we can live a more fulfilling life, one that supports our goals and aspirations.

It’s time to identify the habits that no longer serve us well and make a conscious effort to replace them with new, empowering ones.

Let’s start today and break the habits that hold us back from living our best lives.